100% Clickbait - Donaghmede Inn set for shock reopening TONIGHT!

The Donaghmede Inn is set to dramatically reopen its doors TONIGHT, according to rumours swirling in the area.

The local boozer shut down after COVID and hasn't reopened since, leaving locals with no choice but to fly further afield in search of a delicious pint.

But sources suggest that the Donaghmede Inn - fondly known as 'The Binn' by locals - is going to throw open its doors unheralded tonight, Wednesday 15 March, in a move that will boost the local drinking economy but cripple the local working economy. 

The alluring sign of the Donaghmede Inn, and somebody's finger. Credit: Tripadvisor.

Rumours began spreading among local pintmen - one of whom is allegedly somebody's da - late on Tuesday night.

The Sky Sports of sources. Credit. Somebody's da.

This followed on from a Facebook post by Bespoke Bars, a company who build bars, claiming they had just completed some work in Donaghmede's favourite boozer in early March.

Eddie be getting a few more calls if he's helped get the Binn open in time for Paddy's Day. Source: Bespoke Bars.

And the rumour mill went into overdrive when a renowned Donaghmede Inn historian hopped on the bandwagon.

"Rumours are flying around that the Inn is open....." wrote The Donaghmede Inn Chronicles (@TheDustyInn) on Twitter. "The man leaving the side gate at 22.05 was not inside the premises."

The Donaghmede Inn Chronicles joined Twitter in 2022 to critical acclaim. Credit: @TheDustyInn.

The page then followed up with a Twitter poll asking which local hero should do the music for the grand re-opening, with the twins from B*Witched dominating the results at the time of writing. Local musician Damien Dempsey was conspicuous by his omission, considering his past association with the Donaghmede Inn.

Damo performing in 2009. He'll be devastated he didn't get called to help get the Binn back in business. Credit: taylordublin YouTube channel.

The pub located at the Donaghmede Shopping Centre was originally supposed to reopen in time for Christmas, following a mysterious Facebook post on their page which simply said, "Dec 2022." The area was buzzing with anticipation, but Christmas came and went with the bar still shuttered.

Repeated Facebook posts advertising job openings followed, but the lack of a concrete opening date led to more heartbreak for a community deceived too many times before.

"If I can't get a pint of Guinne into me there tonight, I'll fuckin' burn the place down," said one local called Johnner Johnson who didn't want to be named.

The Donaghmede Inn declined to comment (mainly because I didn't ask them to), and they even turned off commenting on their Facebook posts, further fuelling speculation.

We've all had that dream. Credit: my dreams.

The Cornetto and The Quiver

Thanks to an invitation from a friend, one Kori Schagunn, I've started a six week screenplay workshop with MOB Theatre Dublin. By June 1st, I'll have produced a screenplay for a feature film - it's going to win all the Oscars, and one Golden Raspberry.

I decided to do the course as a means to try get myself back into a writing mindset while also doing something a little different during these COVID-19 lockdown days. It's going well so far. We've had our first class and I have my idea submitted - and I got to eat a Cornetto as a direct result of an assignment for the course. You have questions. I'll elaborate.

It's a 50-strong class conducted via Zoom by MOB's own Erin McGathy, so it's a big undertaking and means we've been split into groups. I'd be a big fan of the Three Flavours Cornetto trilogy - which is arguably the greatest trilogy of all-time, bar none, hands down, no exceptions - and had mentioned Edgar Wright and this era-defining trilogy as an influence at some point during my sign up.

As it happens, I wasn't alone in citing the great man's work and I ended up in a team called: Team Edgar (Wright). One of our early assignments was to submit an image of ourselves containing our name and working title for our screenplay, so naturally this afforded me a unique opportunity to be creatively lazy while acknowledging the influence on my existence of the dessert known as the "little horn" (Google it, it's what Cornetto means).

It'll be about a guy called Stan wearing shades. That's it. That's the movie.* Credit: @LeChristopherHa's camera phone/basic Instagram things.

I opted for the Classico flavour as, like Hot Fuzz - the second of the critically acclaimed trilogy which has grossed $156 million worldwide (approximately 104 million Cornettos, maybe more if you get them on special offer) - my screenplay will feature some good aul fashioned law enforcement. Sort of.

As for where I'll be writing possibly the greatest worst screenplay ever written, I'll be doing it at Universal Studios, Florida, as part of an awesome package deal you get for doing this six week workshop! Special thanks to MOB and Universal for this awesome opportunity. Check out this exclusive image of my workstation at Universal:

This is definitely Universal Studios, Florida - not the corner of my bedroom in my gaff in Donaghmede. Credit: @LeChristopherHa's camera phone/basic Instagram things.

It's a class operation, and the FRANteen has all the Cornettos I could ever possibly want. We had to set up and name our own workstations as a workshop assignment, so I named mine 'The Quiver'. You might think it's because I'm quivering from the fear of having to turn around a multi-billion dollar screenplay in the space of six weeks, but it's actually a random nod to this comic panel from Injustice, Gods Among Us, Vol 1 #5:

Harley Quinn was right, it is a better name. Sort it out, Ollie. Credit: Injustice: Gods Among Us, Vol 1 #5.

So, for the next six weeks, in between shifts at work and catching a few Pokémon in Pokémon GO while out for my daily walk (in Florida, ahem, not Donaghmede, seriously), I'll be bashing away at this workshop and at my screenplay trying to make something happen. And you'd better believe there'll be more than a few Cornettos devoured along the way.

*Stan in the Shades is a working title mainly because I couldn't get away with Fran in the Shades

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The gap at the top of the Scottish Premier League table might be wider these days, but Old Firm derbies remain blood and thunder affairs – and Celtic's 2-1 win over Rangers at Parkhead on Sunday was no exception. The defeat leaves Rangers 13 points adrift of the Bhoys, but the talking points post-match all revolved around one beautiful man.

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RE: Ronald Reng on Robert Enke, November 10th, 2017

Around this time of year I often think about Robert Enke and the tragedy which was his life. I think about it because his story had a visceral impact on me given the manner in which my own father passed away. 

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[serious spoilers for Split below; seriously, if you haven't seen it but want to see it, do not read this because you'll hate me for life]

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Imagine possessing the ability to rewind and re-watch your memories? To cycle through the best and worst moments of your life as seen through your own eyes, as well as having some nifty playback functions, like pausing, zooming and even a lip reading tool. It sounds handy, right?

[spoilers for the Black Mirror episode 'The Entire History of You' below]

Sherlock, let's leave it at The Final Problem

As the curtain came down on another Sherlock series, I had mixed feelings on how the season four finale came to its conclusion and switched the television off with one overriding feeling: I hope this is the last episode they make.

[a serious amount of Sherlock cross-season spoilers to follow, so if you haven't seen any of it but want to, do not read this post; you have been warned]

The Bicycle Giver

[NOTE: This post has been in my drafts tab for months. I no longer know how many or why I didn't publish it at the time. It has been left as is, aside from some little notes where appropriate. SPOILER: This post has nothing to do with bicycles or thieves of aforementioned non-existent bicycles]

I rarely have free time these days, what with shift work and important personal commitments. Though it's far from ideal, I generally don't mind. It's just life and I do enjoy mine when I can.

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In light of Dundalk's recent European adventure, a review of a book chronicling the greatest exploits of all League of Ireland clubs in continental competition seemed appropriate. Paul Keane does an excellent job documenting ten such memorable occasions in his book Gods Vs Mortals.

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Most people read the autobiographies of sports people to gain a better understanding of their heroes, to find out what makes them tick – what drives them to be successful. The importance of Ronald Reng's biography of German goalkeeper Robert Enke is not in how it captures him on the field, but in how it chronicles his life and his battle with depression off it.

If Dundalk get Celtic, Aviva Stadium could work against them

Dundalk achieved one of the biggest results in the club's European history by seeing off BATE Borisov over two-legs to reach the Champions League play-off round. With Tallaght Stadium needing numerous upgrades to make it fit by UEFA standards to host a tie in this round, the Aviva Stadium is looking more likely to be used by the Lilywhites for their home leg, and this could be to Dundalk's detriment if they do indeed draw Celtic.

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