I would pay money to see all of these Lucas Lee films

Lucas Lee is an actor who plays the archetypal action hero in the majority of his movies. He saves the day and gets the girl, all while being a badass. What, you've never heard of Lucas Lee? Oh, I forgot to mention, Lucas Lee is himself a work of fiction.

Chris Evans portrays Lee in the comedy movie Scott Pilgrim vs. The World. If you haven't seen it, the premise is quite simple: boy meets girl, falls in love and is very happy - until he discovers that all of the girls' ex-boyfriends are bandied together in a League of Evil Exes hell bent on controlling the love life of the girl, and each of whom the boy has to defeat in combat in order to acquire the right to date the girl.

Lucas Lee is one of these exes, and though each of them brings their own form of brilliant humour to the film, Captain America star Chris Evans' turn as Lee lives longest in the memory for being so over the top that it actually does capture perfectly the true essence of the age old favourite, the action hero. The below clip from Scott Pilgrim is a perfect example:

"Now you listen close and you listen hard, bucko." Source: ESSAIRYD3R/YouTube.

The ensuing fight scene between Lee and Scott Pilgrim - played by the never aging Michael Cera - is speckled with more brilliant lines from Evans, but that's not what this post is about. As mentioned already, Lucas Lee as a character has grown beyond Scott Pilgrim to the point where the mock movie posters of his fake films have started doing the rounds on social media again - and in the words of Lee himself, they are "actually hilarious. Hilarious."

The posters themselves were created years ago by Universal to coincide with the release of Scott Pilgrim and they appear in the film in the background of certain scenes, but somehow I've only just come across them now. Honestly, I would pay serious money to see any one of these films if they were playing in the ODEON cinema down in Coolock. Edgar Wright, Michael Bacall and Bryan Lee O'Malley - director, screenplay writer and creator of the Scott Pilgrim comic book series respectively - would want to look into the possibility of making any one of these posters into a real life movie, because there is satirical gold dust to be found in each one.

Action Doctor

"The good news is...you are going to live. The bad news is he is going to kill you." Source: Screenrant.com.

This one is my personal favourite, mainly for the tag-lines (which are brilliant on all of the posters, it has to be said). The concept is just ludicrous enough to pull in a few million dollars at the box office, too - particularly if the right person was cast in the role of the villain (it has to be Alan Rickman). I'm thinking Lucas Lee is a former army doctor who, after serving three tours abroad in high combat zones, returns home to a job in a New York City hospital where he quickly rises to prominence in his specialised field. Rickman, a company man in the same hospital for 15 years longer than Lee, is jealous of his rapid ascent and would love nothing more than to see misfortune befall his colleague. It just so happens Rickman is also at the head of an underground revolutionary group plotting a terrorist attack in New York. BOOM!

Let's Hope There is a Heaven

"Winner of a Sundance International Film Festival award." Source: Screenrant.com.

Because, like all action heroes, Lucas Lee isn't just an action hero - he's something more. Let's Hope There's a Heaven is the tragic story of a man diagnosed with terminal cancer far too young who tries to shut out those closest to him and the world around him as he slowly begins to fade away...only to fall in love with a complete stranger instead (probably played by Amanda Seyfried, because why not). Grappling with the injustice of it all, Lee's character goes through a dark period of self-examination sprinkled with flashbacks; road trips to childhood holiday destinations; denied Make a Wish Foundation requests because he's an adult; and biblical revelations where Lee finds himself hoping, for the very first time, that there is a heaven. Cue all the Oscars (and one Golden Raspberry).

The Game is Over 2

"Looks like somebody inserted a nickle before the countdown got to zero..." Source: Screenrant.com.

Picking up from where the action classic The Game is Over left off (we all know how it ended), James McClean - who, thanks to Lee's incredible portrayal in TGO1, is the most iconic action hero since Die Hard's John McClane - is getting over the death of his partner, Sean Bean, after a fatal shootout with drug smuggling gangsters in Los Angeles (Bean is playing himself having decided that taking a name was pointless when he found out he was going to die in yet another film). McClean is trying to take solace in the fact that he avenged Bean by killing his murderer - gang ringleader George Garnier (played by Paul Rapovski in a breakout performance for the Frenchman). But is Garnier really dead? Take care, McClean.

Thrilled to be Here

"Did you really think you stood a chance against Spencer Jay, bro'?" Source: Screenrant.com.

Thrilled to be Here is, in reality, a poorly disguised documentary of Lucas Lee's actual life, with Spencer Jay playing the role of Lucas Lee who is playing Spencer Jay, if you follow me. Jay (Lee) is a Hollywood superstar who causes pandemonium among fans wherever he walks - but it wasn't always like this. Lee (Jay) was a skater kid once whose only ambition in life was to skate side-by-side with his hero, Tony Hawk. Eventually Jay (Lee), thanks to the success of his acting career, would get to create his own skateboard company - with Hawk as an honorary ambassador. Hawk actually asked Lee (Jay) to join him for his personal visit to the White House in 2009 so they could sneakily skate there together, but Jay (Lee) was too busy being awesome somewhere else to accept the invitation to fulfill his boyhood dream. An incredible fictional (factual) insight into the ego behind Spencer Jay (Lucas Lee).

You Just Don't Exist

"Makes Enemy look like a film about two brothers and their pet tarantula." Source: Screenrant.com.

Cole Hazard was just a nice guy wearing a nice jacket on his way to his nice, simple banking job when he got an unexpected phone call. From himself. "Cole? It's Cole. I got some bad news, buddy..." In 89 minutes, Cole Hazard is going to die, and unlike that movie Source Code where Jake Gyllenhaal got all the mulligans he wanted, Hazard has only one chance to save his own neck. Now, the oddly chiselled-looking guy for a bank clerk needs to organise a schedule which will best utilise the 5340 seconds he has left before he can solve the mystery of how he can give himself a heads up about his own demise if his other self isn't already dead (with at least 40 seconds to be designated to a potential future phonecall to his own past self to deliver the forewarning he himself received in case he fails to save his own life once again, I think).