Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Broony's on fire, Steven Gerrard's t̶e̶r̶r̶i̶f̶i̶e̶d̶ real annoyed

The gap at the top of the Scottish Premier League table might be wider these days, but Old Firm derbies remain blood and thunder affairs – and Celtic's 2-1 win over Rangers at Parkhead on Sunday was no exception. The defeat leaves Rangers 13 points adrift of the Bhoys, but the talking points post-match all revolved around one beautiful man.

It wouldn't be an Old Firm derby if Scott Brown didn't act the maggot and the Celtic skipper was in fine form during this one, smashing into tackles and winding up any Rangers player who dared get near him. Afterwards, Gers boss Steven Gerrard bemoaned the fact that his players had been antagonised, but there's a simple solution for that, Stevie: tell your players to cop the f*ck on.

It's Scott Brown, for f*ck sake. He's like a shark – if he stops winding people up, he dies.

In honour of Broony putting on the performance of a lifetime, we've rounded up his best bits for no other reason than to marvel at their hilarity one more time.

1. Brown baits Morelos into an elbow, then laughs in his face

Celtic have just scored first and Rangers need all hands on deck to recover, so what does Alfredo Morelos do? He elbows Scott Brown when the ball isn’t even remotely close to where they are on the pitch. As his top scorer received his fifth red card of the season, Gerrard’s reaction – he put his face in his hands – says it all; Broony laughing at Morelos as the Columbian left the pitch says a little more.

The consequence of his actions will be a lengthy ban for Rangers’ 29-goal literal hitman. The commentary sums it up perfectly, though: “Look at Scott Brown, just laughing at that childish behavior from Morelos.”

 2. Kent thinks he’s Superman, so floors Brown

When this incident occurs, Celtic have just scored to put themselves into the lead for the second time. Ryan Kent is trying to retrieve the ball for kick-off as the game is entering its dying minutes, but Brown picks it up and rolls it away. There seems to be some sort of verbal exchange, but then Kent – forgetting his name is Ryan and not Clark – shoves Brown who hits the deck again.

At that point, Kent probably wished he was Superman so he could fly the f*ck away to avoid being sent off, but somehow referee Bobby Madden missed the incident entirely, so the on-loan Liverpool winger got off SCOTT free.

For now, anyway – he could still face retrospective action, which would be another blow for the Ibrox club.

 3. Halliday needs a holiday

The game is over and Celtic have won yet another Old Firm derby. Parkhead is chock full of Celtic fans, so what does Broony decide to do? Why, celebrate in the corner of the ground where the Rangers fans are, of course.

 This did not impress the Rangers players. Andy Halliday seemed particularly stressed out and it took Celtic goalkeeper Bain – not to be confused with Batman’s arch nemesis, Bane – to keep them apart. A melee ensued, though, and looking at the slow motion clip of the initial coming together, Brown just seems to be laughing the entire time. What an enviable zest for life. A true inspiration.

Meanwhile, Halliday will be getting a visibly much needed holiday where he can de-stress thanks to the second yellow card he received in the tunnel for his part in the brawl – this sending off rules him out of Rangers’ next game against Hearts. Take it handy, Andy.

4. Broony reveals Halliday was just being a good sport

Another thing we love about Scott Brown is his demeanor when questioned about his antics during post-match interviews. His “Ha! Sure did” comment when asked about his infamous running battle with El Hadji Diouf back in 2011 lives long in the memory, but the coyness of his replies during his post-match interview on Sunday and the little flicker of a smirk at the end are quality.

When asked about the Kent incident, he just replied with all the sarky innocence of an escaped convict: “Huh, I don’t even remember that.” When asked about Halliday, he simply said: “He just came up to congratulate me.” Based on this, it seems like Halliday is innocent and has just been tragically misunderstood. #FreeHalliday

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